Sunday, December 19, 2010

Footsteps in the snow

Went to Mom and Dad's With Dawn and Randy to warm the place up and get things ready for Mom and Dad to come home for a week or so over Christmas.  It was an odd feeling being there without them there, and looking for things ect.  We decided that every house should have a "top drawer in the hall" drawer - that is where everything you ever will need is. and just below it 'the toy drawer' ever bored just pull it open... it is about 3 ft. deep, there is something in there to entertain. As I went around in the house looking for things, it was amazing the memories I ran over. 
This was the only house i lived in growing up. Born there, well - not literally, I'm not that old- stayed til I married.  The attics are somewhat emptied, or just moved to a handier spot... The upstairs still echoes of BB pellets, music from the past, wrestling around and laughing, the boy's smelly socks smell has left.  It seemed so empty and quiet though, neither of us liked the feeling... it was reassuring knowing that we were getting it ready for them to come home! and not packing it up, but yet we know that life can change quickly for any of us, with one phone call.  
So, it was with memories of my family that I left with, driving out to visit Doug's grave before driving home. I had to think, all the gifts and hooplah that goes with Christmas that makes it joyous and fun, it seems the memories I remember and cherish are not the gifts received necessarily but the stories around them.  The year Dave really tried to get me a special gift, an albino hamster.  he had the cage set up and all... he kept it by the old furnace in the basement to hide it from me... if you know hamsters... too warm... hamster died...  :)  The boy's BB guns were a hit for years, BBs ran around that upstairs bedroom for years after they got married!  Doug's HAMM radio, and him learning morris code. Pool games with Dad in the basement. Always a fresh supply of comic books. Dawn's 'art room' became my bedroom.  and then the grandkids started coming, with a whole new batch of stories and memories.
So, I am cherishing remembering the memories that have already been made, some stories have ended, but I want to soak in all the memories being made, stories being written.  it's not just the gifts, but the stories they bring, and the reaching out and touching the  lives that they include - those are the priceless gifts of life. 
Footprints in the Snow

A time of reflection of memories held dear.
A time of wishes
A time of wonderings
A time of coldness and still.
A time of Peace
A time of tears
A time of prayer for those still here.
A time of missing
A time of musing
A time of crispness and chill.
A time of calm
A time of knowing
you were loved.
                       jacki 2010

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Birthday Dad!!

Well, as I sit here thinking of how to form my thoughts into sentences, I am looking at Tori sleeping on the couch and listening to Izzy snore on his pillow... Izzy is worn out today from all his exercise last night at the Zim/Zob wiener roast.  My cousins girls thoroughly enjoyed him and he can always use the exercise :)  .  Each of my parents only have one sibling, I have an Uncle on each side - and not Aunts other than their wives, which are Aunts but only by marriage, not Aunt aunts... you know... so my number of cousins is limited.  I have 2 living first cousins on my Dad's side, and 5 on my Mom's side. that's it!  7 cousins.   Last night those that were able to be there lined up for a picture like we used to at Christmas, in front of the fireplace, when we were little.  As we stood there it seemed like such a small group of people for being mostly of all of my cousins... we were only short by one who couldn't make it and one who is in heaven.  It is amazing how much of a hole one missing person makes.
We gathered in the basement and watched a dvd of a collection of home movies that my uncle had taken over the years...  it was amazing to see great aunts and grandparents and loved ones that have since become memories...  it doesn't seem that long ago!  Pictures of downtown Eureka how I remember it was as a kid, all the different stores that were there that are now long gone away... life just keeps moving and I feel like I forget to enjoy it sometimes.  Looking at my parents when they were the age that I am now... that's weird!!  I have been telling my kids that I remember when my dad was the age that I will be turning in December... he could add his digits and make my age...  when he was 41 I was 5...etc. it worked thru his 40's . 
Today is my Dad's 81st birthday, I found him a card that had a newspaper, slippers, and a mug on the front.  It reminded me of when I was little and I would go get him his slippers and then I would sit on his lap in his lazyboy chair and he would go through the funnies and read me each one and we would laugh about them together.  He would fix his tea with sweetner stir it and tap the spoon on the rip of the cup 3 times then set the spoon aside.  ... :) that part annoyed my Mom, she never could figure out why he needed to clink his spoon, "there isn't that much tea on it, just set it beside it... "   haha   they didn't bicker, but I remember that annoying her... :)  When you spend an evening looking back at life from your childhood, the good times, the happy times - jumping out of boxes with your cousin for your grandpa's birthday...  it makes me wonder if I am cherishing my time with my family enough, I'm sure I'm not... I don't know if you can cherish it enough.... Happy Birthday Dad!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

so it's been a long time...

ok, so it's been a long time since I got this thing going.... Whittney thought she was 'all about it' when she set up a blog and I said "yea, I got one..." ..."you have a blog??! was her reply...

thought maybe I would check up on it and throw in a word or two.  It seemed kind of daunting to add a post before, but now they have this email thing that I'm trying and I can send it by text from my phone now too.... so, maybe it will be a bit easier to do a update now and again. 

There is too much to try to catch up, so maybe it is better to just make a 'fresh start' and go from there.  
I took a day off today to try to catch a few things up computer things like the e mail to calendar kind of things and I figure I could toss in something that I enjoy too...
We went camping over the long weekend so there is laundry in and things to put away.  It was a beautiful weekend! we had a few things to come back in for, so it wasn't total relaxing, but still fun and still a get away from house stuff... 
Looks like it is time to call it fall though, I pulled the pump from my -puddle of a- pond, and moved my container plants to the proch for now,  so it can frost/freeze now.  I'm ready to be inside and not keep up the outside anymore.  My gardening drive has seemed to decrease these last few years, we took out a huge portion of flower gardens this year and it felt good.  One less thing on the To-Do list.  I'm ready to  make some soup and cornbread and, in a month or so, a fire in the fireplace...
Well, things to get done... 

Saturday, March 13, 2010

So Tori sang a solo today in front of a judge and a classroom full of people. Where did these kids come from? I was so nervious for her! I couldn't look at her I was so afraid I would mess her up, as I listened I was like "is that tori's voice? Is that what she sounds like singing?" don't know that I've heard her seriously singing voice before, kind of an irish sound to it :0) . It is amazing to see your kids growing up and becoming their own person... a mix of us, but definitely their own personality... I never would have had the courage to do that!! Last Saturday Whittney sang with two groups of girls too for contest. these kids amaze me...

Saturday, March 6, 2010

So what is it that makes sunshine seem so inviting to get up in the morning? Usually it is such a struggle to get up but, usually when I see that sunshine it's like "ok! I can do this..." I'm definitely not a morning person but could classify myself as a morning person wannabe. If only I could bottle a bit of sunshine to help on the non-sunshine mornings...