March 24, 2020 

As many of us sit in our homes and shelter ourselves and loved ones from the COVID19 virus, I am amazed at how God still provides, still gives hope and refines us to rebirth and restoration in Him.  As Craig and I take our walks I am constantly drawn to the signs of Hope springing up around us. It has been a mild winter, yet a dead brown winter nonetheless, to see new life coming beck just gives my heart a hug.  Trees budding, flowers poking their leaves up from the hard ground, grass is greening up… each one such a miracle, a hope of what’s to come. Yes, a huge killing frost could snuff them out, but let’s think optimistically, there will be leaves for shade from the summer heat, flowers to enjoy and bring inside,  grass to mow, and yes, weeds to pick out. But it gives us hope in an unusual circumstance

Worldwide.  God knew this was coming, and He timed it to happen in Spring.  I think, He allowed it to happen and made it happen at such a time as this.  

The world is stressed out, some upset with all kinds, some hoarding all kinds, and we haven’t seen the worst of this yet, but those in Christ have hope.   God is reminding us of this as we look outside I think. Even with the Easter season, a time when we reflect upon our walk with Him.

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

                                                                                       Psalms 51:10-12

 As we see the world around us, are we caught up in it? Are we able to rest in Him and in His promises? The seed is laid in the fall.  Everything it needs is within it. Just like us, Christ is all we need, all we need is in Christ within us - within the Spirit that’s within each believer.  The seed in the ground needs proper nourishment, water minerals ect to grow. So do we, are we taking in what we need to grow? Are we pushing into Christ and others? Are we taking in what God is feeding us through His Word and from words He gives to others? We have been in a time where we cannot socialize and gather…. we miss it! Or do we? We should yearn to be with our church families and worship together.  

The social distancing reminds me of the lepers of the Bible.  Having to shout ahead to warn others coming toward them “no don’t come I’m unclean!” We pass over that lightly sometimes… what if that person is their spouse, child, parent, sibling… saying no I can’t come near you for your sake.  I’ve got leprosy (the virus) or have been exposed. Those with leprosy went off and lived their life in leper camps, no goodbyes with hugs, no visits without risking exposing the other… the dread of finding a spot. I think that is a bit more real to us now.  I then think of the rejoicing that occurred when Christ healed the leper! Or God granted healing to a leper. Can you imagine what that meant?!? Here we are having deaths from the virus, but also many recoveries. Praise God for modern medicine. Major prayers for the healthcare workers and their families, who are distancing themselves because of their continued exposure.  Prayers for the families that are distanced from loved ones in critical conditions in the hospital, from the virus or other things. No visitors. Not being able to be with them in the critical times or possibly at their passing… I can’t imagine, pray none of us have to experience that. Prayers for those losing loved ones and not being able to have the traditional services for closure.  So many to pray for. 

I am praying that through this time that there is time to think, life has slowed down for many. Became a little more focused for most of us.  Praying that this is a time of revival of all kinds; coming to Christ and renewing in Christ, reaching out into community through this time, in acts of service and love.  

Winter is past, the rain is over and gone.  

The flowers appear on the earth, 

the time of singing has come, 

and the voice of the turtle dove is heard in the land.  

                                                                                  Song of Solomon 2:11,12

Amaryllis Prayers

March 9, 2020

Sometimes HE wants us to just be still and KNOW, really know that HE has us.  To give Him the chance to show us that “He’s got this”. This journey began for Craig and I back in November, with a “call back” on my mammogram.  That wasn’t too alarming, many have those, I had never been called back - it was my turn…. through the processes of rechecks, biopsies ect it was determined that I had ductal invasive carcinoma and a calcium cluster.  This took most of November and into December. Met with my general surgeon in January and Plastic surgeon in February, had Surgery February 14. Still awaiting test on the removed tissue to come back on recurrence percentage, to tell if chemo is needed. As of now it’s just surgery and medication, no radiation or chemo, unless the test comes back with a high recurrence percentage. Many say how it took so long to find everything out, but even in that, He knew, it gave me time to process each piece.  The waiting in November was long, but my Jesus Calling devotions led me to scripture that held my eyes on Him and how my right hand was right there in His righteous right hand. My Isaiah verses came up over and over! Over and over it reminded me of this.

  

This one was given to us on surgery day… 

It was like the tests and results trickled in at the rate we needed, to process it and not fear.  It was small, early stages and seemed it hadn’t spread. That was the best we could hope for. God gave us just what we needed when we needed it.  There was a day in November when I was backing out of our garage. My car radio system picked up Spotify from my phone’s Bluetooth. Usually I have to manually connect this in my car, but today it just started playing.  It played something I had never heard before. The Amaryllis Story by Christy Nockles   (Incase link doesn’t work https://youtu.be/-3LdXjzm_dw). Stop and listen to it. 

 He would help me to “Bloom in the dead of winter”.  No matter what all this brought, He would see me through it and He would grow me in it.   I wasn’t feeling as though I would die, it wasn’t that stage or severity. But it was something I would have to walk through.  I could not have asked for a more understanding husband to go through this with. Along with Christ, Craig has been my rock. This has grown us so close, in a whole new way. He gave me the freedom to work through it how I needed to, he has been so loving, attentive and patient, while processing things for himself as well.  And being there every time I needed him to be. His devotion and patience spoke volumes to my heart. Our girls... have been amazing. There for us the whole way. They put the word out about the Amaryllis Story to a few and those bulbs have been making their way to me over the last few months, each planted in a different beautiful pot. One by one they are growing in their own time and blooming before me through this Winter, into early Spring.  

I was sitting here this morning looking at the 2 blooming in my window and my magnolia tree  outside, with it’s catkins fuzzed out, waiting for Spring. Watching the seasons of that tree are another story… I sat here wondering what God has shown me or grown in me through this time?   I read this familiar set of verses this morning, with a fresh perspective. “But the Fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law.  And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with it’s passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.”

He has definitely grown my trust in Him, “you got this” is a popular saying that I heard a lot, and I do “got” this, but not without Christ going ahead of me months, days and hours ago, beside me, leading me, holding me. Not without Craig, not without our kids (son-in-laws too) supporting us along the way. Not without our families, friends and church family supporting all of us and praying and encouraging us.  There are some who we’ve never met, but they know our kids, and they have gone down this path, complete strangers to Craig and I. They have added me to their prayer lists, their church’s prayer lists, sent cards and gifts. The text message, hug, card, meal, visit... at just the right time, so many times.  

These acts of love made these verses (Gal 5:22-25) really speak to me today.  With all the hubbub going about with politics, virus outbreak, ect. He has just really put me in a place of peace, kind of removed -in my cozy home resting and healing, shielded in a way from it all.  I’m able to just savor the good that He has in this world. I have experienced so many of these fruits from others. Love immeasurable, overflowing, words don’t do it justice. Joy in volunteer impatiens blooming in my window, in so many little ways, beautiful banners and handwritten cards from our 3 grands,  it really is the little things that bring joy. Peace of heart knowing He is in control and He is enough and will provide enough for our needs. Longsuffering, it has been very bearable, hopefully me going through this will help me to empathize with others that face this or something similar. Kindness, I've received so much, throughout my lifetime I’ve received so much kindness.  The world needs kindness, we need to show kindness in all we say and do. I have been looking at the world going about outside my windows, all up in arms, upset about so much that in “the big picture” is so minute and yet, some of it is important in this life. Kindness goes a long ways to solve so many of the world’s troubles. I really want to try to share these fruits… goodness, God is good, so so good, He has shared enough. If we share our goodness to others, it will be enough - it’s our job, the church’s job; your’s, mine, everyone's,  church's job, to show pure religion (James 1:27). Faithfulness, gentleness, ...Craig in so many ways to me. So many others have been faithful in praying and supporting us, they have been gentle with our time availability or lack thereof, and given us space to process and make our way through, yet been there for us in such a gentle way. Self-control plays into those last two as well, and us to crucifying our flesh, so we can serve Him better. It’s not about us. We haven’t been able to do life as we usually do life. But that has been ok, it has given us time to refocus a bit. And that’s always good too, to take time to savor what is really important. Part of me doesn’t want to go back into normal life, but that is where He has us, I’m just glad it is an “us” thing, I love doing life with Christ and Craig.  And that is where that last part comes in, If we are of the Spirit, let’s walk in it. If we are Christ’s let’s exude these fruits to those around us. As far as I can tell - Christ didn’t convert sinners before He helped them. He helped them. Then if they followed Him they did, but he helped them first.  

The Potter’s Clay

     The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying, Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause thee to hear my words.  Then I went down to the potter's house, and, behold, he wrought a work on the wheels.And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter: so he made it again another vessel, as seemed good to the potter to make it.*

In the cool of the evening I found myself being drawn away from where I was headed and walking down a lightly worn path, toward a small humble house, almost a tiny cottage. Possibly only a couple rooms in it.  There is a peculiar glow about it that seems to draw one towards it. I surprise myself that I am allowing myself to pursue this, I’ve been so caught up in my life, being so busy, I haven’t taken much time for much else.  As I approach, I see the door is open as if enticing one to see in, just a bit, I can see that it is a very simple place. A workshop of sorts, dirt type of floor, very earthy smells waft out as I stand there. I hear someone inside, I want to enter - but hesitate. I stand at the door and then softly knock.  I am greeted by a calm voice that seems to be laced with love to come in. I step inside to a small room. I looks like there are only 2 or 3 rooms at the most, very simple, only the essential needs if even that. I see a craftsman sitting at a spinning circular wheel. A lump of clay in His hand.

       His strong hand molds the clay a bit in His hand, inspects it a bit then works with what it is.  He firmly tosses it onto the center of the wheel and begins the work of centering the piece, watering the piece and working it back and forth, up and down,  until He can feel that it is perfectly centered into where He can work with it in a balanced manner. As I am drawn into this I’m so very focused on His hands, the small movements that cause so much impact on the shape of the clay.  His hands look scarred… He works silently, ever so gently forming the clay, drawing it into shape, placing pressure at the top to hollow it out, pulling up the sides and pressuring it into shape, he sees a blemish and then begins working and reworking to fix the blemish… all this time watering his hands and keeping the clay moist and pliable.   I release my eyes from Him and look around, broken and misshaped vessels are sitting about, Sacks of moist clay, tools… all with a layer of clay dust and dried clay. I see Him remove the finished vessel from the wheel, only to take a dried broken vessel in hand.

       He places the vessel on his bench and proceeds to work it with a mallet and brings it into small pieces and eventually into powder, adding water to bring it into a clay form once again… setting it aside to rest until He can work it again, and taking up another broken piece to see how He can restore it…. my eyes watch His hands, the scars are seen again… my eyes watch, but my mind wonders - What am I witnessing?  Who is this master craftsman? What are these pieces? Is this me? Is this a message for me, given from the scarred hands that took nails on a cross for me? Is this…. my mind races at this awareness, the clay, the water, the molding.. my busy life, my rushed days, … He looks at me for a brief moment, His eyes seem to plead with me… “do you see?” Oh Lord, like Israel, I need to be remade, like Isaiah I need to be undone!   I need to be worked in your hands, pounded, watered, beaten to a pure clay without air of myself inside. Firmly placed on Your wheel, firmly held and worked with to be centered in YOU. Watered with your grace and mercy so that I am able to be pliable and molded. Pressure me that I can rest in Your hands and trust your fingers and tools, to make me into Your vessel that, would be worthy of a KING’s service. 

      My mind racing within me, the Master dimmed his candles and motioned for the door.  It was growing late and I knew I needed to go, I breathed deeply wanting to remember every aspect of this place, I turned to see HIm again but He was exiting to another room, I feebly uttered a thank you, feeling unworthy to speak even that.  I entered out into the cool and damp night. I had much on my mind, I had so much to ponder… 

                                *Jer 18

Mothers and Fathers Day

Yesterday holds our memories,

Today is a gift, 

Some say Tomorrow never comes, 

but tomorrow is the start of forever... 

So, I’ll see you tomorrow. 

     I heard a song this morning about mothers, as it is Mother’s Day weekend.  It was by Chonda Pierce A Mother’s Prayer ,  it reminded me of my mom and the journey we had together.  The last line is similar to the line Mom & Dad taught me to pray, only it was from a mom’s heart perspective. “If I die before they wake, they’ll know I lived for Jesus’ sake.”   This song reminded me of the heart journey I took, over my lifetime with my parents, and the example of grace that they were.  

       As with most kids, the parent at home isn’t always the people that others know, sometimes but not always - and to an extent, that is how it should be.  It’s that way in my girl’s lifetime as well; good, bad, ugly, beauty all happen in a family, in our’s laughter and tears filled in the gaps.  For some reason, it seems that I was closer to my mom than my dad, I have a good healthy relationship with them both, but seemed to relate better to my mom...  I have thought for sometime about blogging about her and dad, but there is just so much, where to start, what to talk about... I guess my overlying thought in the end of it all is... I am so thankful that God gave me the time with them that He did, so I had time to come to understand where they came from and how that formed them into who they were.  This will be the first set of Mother’s Day and Father’s Day without them.  11/2017 & 8/2018 Nine months apart until they were back together.  Maybe now is the time to write. 

        For many years as I grew up, I kind of held it against them that they weren’t as I thought they should be.  They were more critical than encouraging, they asked annoying rhetorical questions, or they didn’t notice how hard I was trying or trying something new, sometimes they just didn’t seem to ‘get it’... I was impatient with them.  And yes girls, I do some of these things too...  As an adult I slowly came to understand, I slowly began to appreciate, who they were, what they grew out of and their huge accomplishments they had made -in spite of the losses they experienced early in their lives.   They both had what we would call trauma in their early childhood. Mom’s mother (Gma Lena) died when mom was 8 and Uncle Leland was 10.   My Dad’s parents divorced when he was 8 or 9 yrs old, in 4th grade, and thereafter she had 4 more marriages and 3 more divorces, he had step dads with abuse, alcohol issues  ect.  Both of my grandfathers were the stabilizing people in my parent’s lives.   My grandpa Zim remarried after grandma’s death.  The grandma that I grew up with tried her best to be a mom, but she had no experience at that, being a single gal all her life.  That mother daughter close relationship wasn’t there with my mom, she learned the work that needed done, but not the relationship building.  Dad and his brother kind of raised themselves in southern Illinois, during the depression, doing odd jobs that young boys could do: paper routes, selling ice chunks for freezers, shining shoes in the pool hall and learning to play snooker... while my grandma was often working in a diner or something.  My grandpa Zobrist did all he could to help support the boys by working on farms and later on the railroad, but it was a horrible depression, everyone was poor.  My Grandpa ended up moving to Peoria with his new wife (my Grandma June) and after a few years  Dad and Uncle Don showed up at their doorstep as well, with comic books and a white shirt.  Both had dropped out of school and caught a bus to Peoria.  Worked in gas stations ect until getting on a Caterpillar, both excelling at the GED program, apprentice course, working their way up over the years,  to where they “wore a white shirt and tie to work” and retired at an early age very comfortably.  Mom grew up on the farm until moving into town, after high school she went to Brown’s business school, worked at Cat, met dad on a blind date and they figured out life together from there.  After marrying they found the Lord and that was their Saving Grace literally.  Mom had been raised by Godly parents, but dad had little to no church experiences.  

      So, as I look back at what parenting role models they had to work with, the lack of close parental relationships that they had... and I remember the tough times that they went through as life went on.  I see the real reason for the joy they had,  in giving us what they didn’t get as kids: vacations camping all over, time exploring the outdoors, importance of family and friends to do things with, so many healthy relationships that I was given.  Yes, there were negative experiences in life, to me and them, but when they were wrong they apologized, sincerely owned it.  When falsely accused or “done wrong”,  they reacted with grace and mercy and prayed for the person/people.  Early on,  I realized that I never had heard my parents raise their voice at one or the other.  I didn’t realize how uncommon this was... then I married and had conflict...  at first I saw it as a fault with them - it caused me to have the need to learn how to resolve conflict,  after the age that most already know this.  This was not a good time to just now be learning this... but now,  I look at that and I think they were trying to right a wrong from dad’s past.  He heard a lot of things from stepdads that a child doesn’t want to hear... he didn’t want his children to hear conflict.  My mom wasn’t ‘mothered’ much after age 8.  She was loved, but missed out on that mother’s wisdom, care, nurturing... she lacked that role model, she knew the work that needed done, but not the relationship building.  She had a lot of regrets, we talked about it, it makes me sad, I now see that she really did try hard and gave us kids more than what she had, better than what she had.  Isn’t that a parent’s natural wish?   I think by the time her journey ended,  she understood, we understood, God understood,  (you do your best with what you are given) and forgave herself.
     The legacy she and dad left was amazing. Especially considering what they started with.   Even looking at the spiritual end of things. Mom did all she could do to understand the scripture, to learn to meditate on it, study a bit,  her parents weren’t taught these things, they were trying to learn to read, comprehend and preach the Bible in English instead of German and eek out a living in the midst of wars and loss of loved ones the Bible was sustaining them!   She saw me doing Bible Studies and would ask about it, how to do it.  She found what worked for her and how to make the Word apply to her life.   Through her cancer when she couldn’t read, she went to audio bibles, cd’s and books, lots of books!  They sustained her as she tried to keep busy,  working with any handwork she could still do, and figure out who could use it, baby hats and blankets to wash rags. They were not the grand caliber of what she had done over the years, but her heart was in wanting to do something for others,  even when she was sick.   She extended grace and forgiveness in abundance, she was not perfect, but she was repentant and forgiving.  This was so wise,  because this gave her peace of heart and mind in her last years, not more regrets.  Some of the last words she said to me, in asking the whereabouts of  grandchild, “it will all be ok, it will be ok” and her “I love you too”.  I will never forget dad sitting by her bedside that day, giving her a kiss and holding her hand all the way Home.  Dad was the most patient man I ever  knew, a lot like Grandpa Zobrist.  He always spoke well of people, gave them a second chance and the benefit of a doubt. I just saw an old friend of Dad’s and he mentioned missing dad and that he wished he “had his disposition” not much riled up my dad -if he was riled up,  you knew it was a big deal!. :) But he always had a bit of wit for you,  a “geneism” as we now call them.   Dad, with having no upbringing in a church or faith,  went on to self teach himself the Bible.  He knew the succession of all the kings and judges, happenings in the Bible,  battles and wars and how world history fit in with the Bible.  He taught all of us kids in Sunday School.  He could have  ‘ran circles around’  those who had been ‘churched’ all their lives.  When he passed on, many didn’t realize he hadn’t been raised in a churched family.  Another first generation PTL!
    So, after all this rambling I guess my point is this,  what I learned from  Gene and Caroll: Don’t be to quick to criticize, you don’t know what that person’s starting point was.  Generations before you or those from different cultures,  lived in very different times and ways, give them credit for that - not criticism, honor them for the obstacles they have overcome, recognize the confusion today’s day and time must present them.   Simplicity holds wisdom, sometimes I long for it, but He has me Planted in today, in His present day and time  - so that’s where I’ll attempt to Bloom with His Grace. He gives me Enough.

Just Enough is Enough

Early Spring 2016

“This is the time of your life when you must learn to let go: of loved ones, of possessions, of control.  In order to let go of something that is precious to you, you need to rest in My Presence, where you are complete.  Take time to bask in the Light of My Love. As you relax more and more, your grasping hand gradually opens up, releasing your prized possession into My care.

    You can feel secure, even in the midst of cataclysmic changes, through awareness of my continual Presence. The One who never leaves you is the same One wh never changes:  I am the same yesterday, today and forever. As you release more and more things into My care, remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you.” Jesus Calling (written first person as Christ speaking)

This was exactly where I was at, God had over time released my fingers from this house we “brought back to life” over the last 25 years.  I was ready to move on, the situation was getting desperate that we move -with the city annexation coming, bringing double or triple taxes on our few acres of land.  We had listed with a realtor who had seen our For Sale by Owner listing. It wasn’t going very well and we were not happy with how she was handling things, but we were under contract with her.  

    I continued to read each day of... of I am with you... do not fear, trust me fully, I will supply ALL your needs according to His riches, be in constant communion with Me, be thankful in ALL things, Trust Me in every detail of your life.  May 9, 2016 “Trust Me and watch and see what I will do.” Micah 7:7 Therefore I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me. May 21 Watch and see what I will do was there again.  So I trusted and waited as best I could. The realtor had offered to release our contract and we took it.  Put For Sale By Owner back on the front yard and researched another realtor option. In the meantime a Doctor couple was interested.  Moving here from the Carolinas, had lived in older homes there. The wife was coming house hunting ahead of the move. She came and loved it, wanted her husband to see it as well he would come Memorial Day weekend.  He liked it as well, it all looked promising, she really wanted it. But, they decided to not make an offer or anything until they would actually move. They found a place to rent for when they move and would pursue buying a house once they are here permanently.  It did not make sense. It seemed so perfect, they had already sold their home, were in a great place to buy ours….. did not understand… IS 41:10 my all time favorite verse was referenced that day 
 

Combine verse 10 and 13 and you see, my right hand is in His righteous right hand.  That means we are face to face, He is face to face with me. He is right here with us through this. Trust.  “”Hold My Hand and trust” a week or so went by and another couple called. They had driven past and saw the sign, they were newly married and both grew up in older homes.  They wanted an older home, but were in no rush - were content just waiting for the right one. She loved it and wanted it from the first visit. It was humorous because she did not hide her feelings at all and he was more like “honey, we will think about it and check things over…” not wanting to agree to it before they had done it right with inspector ect.  She was like “nope! This one is it!” So funny. We had explained all the nuances of the house, our water agreement with neighbors and a new roof that was approved by insurance to be done. We agreed on a price and had our lawyer draw up an agreement and we were rolling.

    I was getting my parent’s new retirement condo painted and ready for them to move into when I got a call from Craig that the deal was at a stand still.  Makes. A knot in my stomach to even remember this day... Our lawyer told us that we technically have a house without water. In order to sell out house at all we have to have a water source.  Our agreement that we had was not sufficient. We need to drill a well. So, Craig started calling and found a firm that would drill one in July for us. We informed the new owners of the finding and of course she said “Oh it’s no problem, we will just figure something out, we will get water somehow, it’s fine” and he said “well… honey we have to make sure of a few things here… “.  So, we signed with the contingency of water being located and sufficient clean water and pump system installed in the house. So we pulled money to cover this huge expense and would trust that it would all work and we could pay it back with the sale money. Trusting again.

    In the meantime we needed to get more serious on our house search, we had looked at a few. Craig prefers to be out by ourselves,  I wanted something in a subdivision, by a walking/bike trail, but all that we looked at just weren’t right and had other concerns.  I wanted newer, not too much that we would have to redo… God seemed to keep showing me Just Enough is Enough. I don’t need what I want, I need to be content with what He gives me.  We had looked at a house out in the Challacombe area and really liked the area.  There were neighbors but not close by, everyone is on a few acres, rolling hills, quiet… The house we looked at wasn’t for us, bad foundation ect. It would be a total rebuild and we couldn’t do that.  But Jackie, our realtor told us she had heard another was coming on the market in this area by a different realtor, but had no details until it lists in a few days. We are set to take a 3-4 week vacation end of June. Needing to get something setup though and still praying for water in July.  A new tax assessment came, it had more than doubled already without being annexed… Trusting Trusting…. trusting there’s water. Mid June a house came on market just up the road from the other one. 3 bedroom sitting on a hill. Nothing fancy, it was a grandma grandpa house, didn’t really excite me at first, but I knew God was saying it was Just Enough.  We looked at the possibilities of what we could do with it over time, Jackie’s husband walked through it with us and assured Craig that we could make the changes we were thinking with the structure of the house. So we began the steps to purchase our new home. We did some packing up of the old house, as much as we felt comfortable with doing. Not a done deal really…  We left on our trip and learned how to sign electronic documents on the road. Inspectors came and went, our girls were at home if anything needed into the Alta house. We held our breath as the day of the inspection came and their appraiser. Once again God pulled us through. The inspection didn’t bring up anything major and they got their loan so the appraisal must have come in high enough.  Such a relief, now wait for water… We really were able to rest in Him and enjoy our trip, we just had an assurance - even if this all fell through He had us. No idea what we would do, but He did...

    We returned from our trip with the drilling only a day or two away.  We were having a bored well, which is wider and more of a seepage situation rather than hitting a body of water with a pipe.  Our area was very spotty for water, that’s why we never pursued it. They had walked around the yard and planted a red flag where they felt would be a good spot to try.  It works that they come and drill down, you pay a lot per foot that they go. IF they get to their limit and no water, they fill it in and you pay for a dry hole, then try again.  There are no guarantees. So that morning they pull in and I sat on the porch with my Bible doing my devotions, watching them get started. This is what I read in JC

    Bring me all your feelings, even the ones you wish you didn’t have. Fear and anxiety still plague you… use your shield of faith to extinguish them… Affirm your trust in Me, regardless of how you feel.  If you persist, your feelings will eventually fall in line with your faith. ...concentrate on trusting me, and fearfulness will gradually lose its foothold within you. ISAIAH 12:2  I clung to verse 3.  We would draw water.

So I sat and watched as they went deeper and deeper. Coming back up and adding on another piece to make it longer to go deeper, trying not to do too much math..$.. I was texting Craig through all this.  At one point the little guy jumped into the hole, then the other guy sent down a hook and pulled him back out… Craig asked if he came out wet! Haha. At one point they took their tractor and started moving the dirt pile, my heart sank, I thought they were going to fill the hole back in, but they didn’t - just moving for more space for more dirt.   Whew! I would go inside and try to work on something, but always came back to look…. finally I just had to know what was up, so it gathered up my courage and went out to ask. “Water?! Oh yeah we hit water a few feet ago, we are just going a bit deeper to get a good supply. Oh yeah we hit water about where we thought we would not too bad at all, looks like a good amount coming in…”.  I don’t think I have ever felt so much thankfulness in my life. There was so much riding on this. And God was just saying “watch and see what I can do…”. So we had the well hooked up and into the house with new pump. Ran chlorine rinses til we could test it and pass inspection. Craig and I had another trip that we needed to do for church, so the girls were on water testing patrol while we were gone. Everything cleared and passed, what a miracle! God truly Amazed us!  These were not things we could have orchestrated, we just had to wait and trust.

    The new property was running into glitches with the city of Peoria, so we closed on the Alta house and rented for a month or so in the new house, until we could close there.  Even that, it made it better for us in the end, protected us from Peoria annexation for 20 years. Thanks to the great lawyers that Tori works for. It “just happened” that they were the firm handling the division of the house from the farmland and sale for the family we were buying the house from.  As we have moved in and remodeled, God keeps providing Just Enough and growing my trust and faith in Him.

Craig and I went to Galena Illinois soon after we had been in the new house for awhile, continuing to see how He was providing again and again just in time, just what we needed.  We found this cute little coffeehouse called Otto’s Place and on the menu this was written -

In a time when the world seems to go faster and faster, when we seem to have more and more to do, when we seem to go after more and more and appreciate what we have less and less, when it seems that too many focus on themselves with little regard for others, when it seems that we are in competition to amass the most in the shortest time, Otto’s Place philosophy is very simple; Enough.

In 2005 my Aunt, Sr. Lois and I heard the story by Bob Perks “I wish you Enough”. It touched our hearts immensely, and it is a philosophy that is both simple and deep and one that has stayed with us ever since. My Aunt is now 98 and she is an inspiration to all who know her. Since we first heard the story we have been ending our phone calls and signing off on emails and letters with the simple phrase, ‘I love you and wish you Enough’.

Part of the story goes as follows: ‘He began to smile. “That’s a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.” He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.”When we said ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.”’

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much
bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish enough Hello’s to get you through the final Goodbye.”

It was more than perfect.  It captured all we were experiencing.  

He is so righteous and loving in spite of all our failures.  I am trying to just remain content with what we have, with what He sees as our need, keep life simple.   There are things that we want in life, but what we need He generously supplies, and therewith we should be content, I try to remember,  it’s Just Enough - and He is Enough.

Watercolor of when we bought the Alta House.

Moving day

On to the next chapter of our journey. Our Challacombe house when we purchased it.

A bit about knitting

That their hearts might be comforted, being knit together in love, and unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding, to the acknowledgement of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ;

A bit about knitting

Before we get into the analogy we need to know a bit about knitting if you aren't familiar with terms.  Knitting, in a general sense,  is a piece worked with one piece of yarn stitched ( hooked) over itself over and over in a variety of ways. Most common stitches are: knit (new stitch added from the back of the loop) and purl (new stitch added from the front of the loop).  You can knit or purl stitches together (k2t, p2t) for design or strength to the piece.  You can also Slip a stitch over another loop and only that loop stays on the needle, leaving it as one stitch. We typically know how many stitches we are to have in a section of our needles, as you knit there are stitches that fall off your needle, from time to time and we say that we, "dropped a stitch somewhere" and go searching for it when our count is off.  If stitches are decreased through knitting or purling together or slipping a stitch, new stitches have to be added back in to keep the number of stitches right.  For the purposes of this blog piece that's all the further we are going, this isn't a knitting lesson. 

The Word in Colossians 2:2 tells us that our hearts are to be comforted, being knit together in love.  I guess I see our church body (local or globally) as that piece that is being worked.  God is knitting with His infinite yarn of love, perhaps we are the stitches, not just a stitch once but multiple times being knit in as HE uses us. 

At some point in the piece we were knit in or purled in, really doesn't matter - both are essential to the beauty of the piece.  There are times when we are knit together 2-6 of us experience something together that binds our hearts and we are all put into one stitch. A triumph or a tragedy,  both add a detail to His piece He is working.  These k2t or p2t then decrease the overall number of stitches in the piece, but God blesses that experience or grants mercy and grace and with that HE adds new stitches behind us to balance the piece again.  Perhaps others are used in His work or souls turn to Him, all these are new stitches. 

There are other times, for many reasons where a stitch comes off the needle.  Perhaps out of our rebellion or spiritual carelessness, could be many things, we don't end up on the needle. That particular stitch that was ours is dropped.  What happens to the piece? Does it go on into more beautiful rows?  no sign of the dropped stitch? no, there is a whole where that stitch is to be.

I placed a stitch holder on the dropped stitch. 

That stitch will continue to drop, down to the stitch that it was stitched upon.  The one pictured went about 3 rows. In our analogy, perhaps that stitch (person it came to) will catch it and hold it, or will not notice it and pretty soon that stitch is undone too (that use God intended is lost also), so it goes down the column of stitches row by row. Til either a stitch catches it, maybe where it was knit together with other stitches, and holds it, or it unravels to the bottom of the piece. All the stitches next to these dropped stitches are still there, they are held to the next stitch by God's yarn of love, but there is a gap, there is just an empty column going down the piece of work.  Is it forever lost? no, it is at the bottom of the piece, on the bottom row, waiting, it can be stitched back up with a crochet hook, worked back in, all the way back up.  The Master can use His love (the yarn) and loop those stitches back in around the dropped yarn that is still on each row. He uses us again, to bring the beauty back to His piece of work. If we cooperate it can be beautiful again, restored for His purpose. 

When we are knit together in love we are comforted, aren't we?  We feel the love, and care of our Brothers and Sisters in Christ.  All of us together make a beautiful tapestry that The Father takes pleasure in every time He look at that piece of work.  He will continue to show grace and mercy, we continue to be pliable and usable, that He can twist us, knit us, purl us, knit 2 or a handful of us together, decrease the stitch number and add...

As I sit and knit a blanket for my granddaughter, these are the thoughts that came... ramblings in my brain.... I'm sure there are theological holes, a theologian i am not... just knittin' and thinkin' ...maybe they blessed you too. 

Your Room

I am still taking in the same book, I found another gem today.  This isn't word for word so
I  didn't " "  it...  I think new rooms are build for each grandchild too... we have big hearts :)

Your Room

When a new baby is born, a new room is built onto the Mother`s heart – and no one else occupies that room.  It doesn’t have to be bigger or better than any other rooms,  it’s just their’s.  "In My Father’s house are many rooms", Jesus said, and one of those was added on the day you became His Child.  That one is your’s! … He has it for you.. it is furnished by every moment you spend with Him... just the two of you, you and Your Father… your very own SistineChapel, where you meet Him in your divine journey together.  Your journey, nobody can walk your journey, it too is yours.  In the Cosmic Choir no one can sing your song… it’s your song with/for Him.

From God is Closer Than You Think.